There’s just something about the NFL. Something about setting aside three hours of your time for two hours of commercials followed by an hour’s worth of actual play chronically interrupted by referees rendered helpless now that they cannot properly decide what genuinely constitutes a catch (a sad fact that even needs to be debated in the first place). The NFL semi-officially kicks off with the Hall of Fame week, where we have the inagural game that doesn’t mean anything, a bout between the Dallas Cowboys and Arizona Cardinal’s B-squads.
Granted, I know we’re talking about pre-season here but boy, shitty things have happened already. I’m not even going to touch the offseason stuff, I’m talking about since the doors opened for business.
- Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill is, at least as of now, out for the season thanks to an already damaged ACL now a totally being damaged ACL. Tannehill is seeking a second opinion and the team refuses to say he’s totally done. However injuries like this rarely end well, so it’s fair to say Tannehill is off the table.
- The Cowboys are seeking to evade punishment for Ezekiel Elliot, who not too long ago was involved in an alleged altercation at a bar, and is still in hot water over his alleged domestic violence incident. It can’t be overstated how much sway Cowboy’s owner Jerry Jones has over NFL affairs, and while the NFL is still delicate over the issue of domestic violence, it may not be too crazy to think Elliot likely serves a two game suspension at best.
- Things are somewhat dysfunctional within the Seattle Seahawks camp, with pass-rusher Frank Clark instigating a fight with offensive lineman Germain Ifedi. According to sports reporter Gregg Bell via Twitter,
Wild fight during pass rush drill. Frank Clark flying blow after Germain Ifedi kept it going.Carroll from other drill to intervene #Seahawks
— Gregg Bell (@gbellseattle) August 3, 2017
You’re likely either excited these guys are so eager to get violent with each other so soon, or your disappointed they’re eager to get violent with each other so soon.
- Speaking of Cowboys, the first NFL pre-season game wrapped up with a 20-18 victory over the Arizona Cardinals. Dallas backup QBs Kellen Moore and Cooper Rush both logged touchdowns, with receptions by TE Rico Gathers and WR Uzoma Nwachukwu.
- New York Jets owner Woody Johnson has been named U.S. ambassador to the U.K., who will most assuredly attempted to push more sub-par North American football teams (coughJetscough) onto unsuspecting Britons. You poor bastards.