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Canelo vs GGG slug to a draw, predictably no one happy

In fight sports there is a popular parlance: “Never let it go to the judges.” If you need an explanation as to why just ask Gennady “GGG” Golovkin after last night’s controversial draw ruling. Saul “Canelo” Alvarez went the distance against Golovkin in a particularly brutal match of even skill. While Golden Boy Promotions really wanted you to believe this was going to be an all-out, ugly slug fest it was anything but one. Golovkin and Canelo each put the other to the test in a very skilled match-up.

Both have been accused of looking good on paper but a.) in Canelo’s case having yet to beat a great, still haunted by the specter of his 2013 loss to Mayweather and b.) Golovkin, while a certifiable wrecking ball, had yet to contend against “elite” fighters. In this case, the bout was to prove both their claims as elite, if there was ever any serious doubt.

The fight was ruled by judge Adalaide Byrd 118-110 Canelo,  Dave Moretti 115-113 Golovkin and Don Trella 114-114 for the split draw. Most under fire is Adalaide Byrd who is probably not having a great morning right now. Last night Bob Bennett, executive director of the Nevada State Athletic Commission, went ringside afterward to try and address Byrd’s decision:

Unfortunately, Adalaide was a little wide. I’m not making any excuses. I think she’s an outstanding judge, and in any business, sometimes you have a bad day. She saw the fight differently [than the other judges]. It happens.

True we all have bad days. For example, I ripped my pants right down the middle bending down at work the other day (true story). Though to dismiss this as a bad day for Byrd does Golovkin and Canelo disservice, especially after the two gave no ground and took the fight 12 rounds. While Canelo played careful tactician throughout most of the fight, picking his shots and primarily acting on counter-offense, Golovkin had volume. The numbers don’t lie, Canelo slowed down and GGG simply did not.

To a certain extent the fight was very much a draw as neither man gave ground to the other. Canelo carefully chose his spots for counter-attack, but Golovkin was absolutely relentless with his jabs which proved too much for Canelo at times. Hard shots were thrown but both men knew the other had an iron chin. Canelo set a fast pace for Golovkin early on, but around the third/fourth round the tide began to change and Golovkin found his rhythm just stifling Canelo with his barrage of jabs.

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So went the majority of the fight, with Canelo finding enough gas within to push back against Golovkin, reminding him that he too hits fucking hard and Golovkin pushing Canelo back into the ropes with his barrage of hard jabs. Canelo for his credit faced Golovkin head-on nearly every time never having been knocked down once. He ultimately didn’t land or throw enough either. It did get a bit chippy though, with Canelo throwing a cheap shot and GGG immediately returning the favor.

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Oscar De La Hoya literally cannot wait for a rematch as he, of course, immediately demanded one. In all likelihood he’ll get what he wants, as it seems neither fighter was happy to let this be a split draw. Miguel Cotto wants his absolute final fight to be against last night’s winner but who knows how that’ll pan out now.

This was definitely the fight boxing desperately needed after this summer’s other spectacle, but not at all the ending it was hoping for. Hard to believe a rematch won’t loom next year, but in the interim, what do we do with my man Cotto? And will Adalaide Byrd find respite from being the rogue judge once again? Probably not.

Here are some choice moments from last night’s brutal bout.

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Game of Thrones Station: Season 7 Finale – The Dragon and the Wolf

We’re way behind with our Game of Thrones station threads and I’ve done my damnedest to avoid spoilers along the way thanks to those douchebags who leaked all final episodes. I’ve also spiced up this week’s GoT entry, so hopefully you enjoy the improved format. Anyway…

It’s all been laid bare and here we are, all roads inevitably lead to the same ending: the arrival of the Long Night. Before I can even begin to tackle where season 7 has taken us, first have to unpack what episode 7 has: the meeting of powerhouse characters long waited for. In between are some very deep revelations that will really fuck things up, as you’ll come to see.

The episode opened with Grey Worm in good health at the head of the Unsullied army alongside the Dothraki as Daenerys shows force to Cersei their meeting. Bronn and Jamie gaze in wonder at the massive army of Unsullied and Dothraki outside the castle walls, a last bit of calm they’ll receive. Jon gazes in wonder and disgust at King’s Landing, Tyrion being Tyrion quipping the brothels are superior to anywhere in the North.

Cersei, Jaime and Qyburn gather to listen to Cersei plot the possibility of Gregor murdering Daenerys and company when the opportunity arises. Neither Jaime nor Qyburn look particularly thrilled to hear this.

Bronn intercepts Tyrion and Jon’s company with his own. Sandor Clegane catches gaze of Briennne of Tarth, who can’t believe this fucking guy is still alive. Tyrion reunites with Podrick, all grown up, and of course Bronn delivering this gem at the insistence they save their hellos:

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Sandor catches up to Brienne, who is slightly worried he’s looking for vengeance. Instead they talk about their mutual interest in protecting Arya Stark, with Sandor seemingly genuinely content the girl was still alive and in Winterfell. Even if she left him dying choking on his own blood he still holds a soft spot for her. The two seem to have come to peace with each other through Arya’s safety and Sandor sorta completes his turn as a hero after years of scumbaggery.

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After everyone gets out their feelings, we are immediately brought to the stark seriousness of the situation. Jaime and Brienne pass a fleeting glance at each other (if you have forgotten their adventures in season one). However it is immediately the reunion of Sandor and Gregor that stands out. If Sandor was feeling alright a minute ago, his attitude immediately sours upon sight of Gregor. We have a teaser for a fight between Sandor and Gregor. Sandor is indifferent to what has befallen Gregor, reminding him he is still intent on killing him regardless. It’s unknown if Gregor even thinks for himself anymore but when he was normal, this was about the same standard.

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Daenerys is late to the meeting much to Cersei’s extreme chagrin. Not only that but Cersei catches Brienne and Jaime staring at each other a little too knowingly. Jaime realizes what he’s doing and tries super hard to shrink. The moment is broken by Dany showing up by dragon-back, with Cersei maintaining a hard poker face at the theatrics. Immediately their first meeting is off to a rocky start with Dany deliberately keeping Cersei waiting knowing it would piss her off.

Tyrion attempts to open the meeting but Euron starts by taunting Theon and Tyrion. Jon, frustrated, cuts in and gets the point: fuck their beef, there are White Walkers on the way right now. Cersei naturally doesn’t take this threat seriously. They begin to argue but Tyrion knows seeing is believing. The fruits of “Beyond the Wall” are shown when Sandor drags a crate with the captured White Walker within it. Tension builds when Sandor opens the crate and the walker doesn’t move. Everyone is held breathless, some in disbelief anything is happening, until Sandor kicks the crate over and the White Walker springs to life scaring the shit out of everyone.

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Sandor puts on a demonstration showing not evening cutting it with steel will stop it. He chops it in half and cuts off its hand, with Qyburn immediately showing interest in the severed hand. Cersei is mortified throughout the whole experience, for only the second time in the program she is unable to smug her way out of this. Jon shows her they can be defeated by fire and dragonglass though no one seems particularly relieved. Dany reveals there are easily over a 100,000 walkers en route.

Euron asks if they can cross water. Once he hears the answer no, Euron immediately turns tail and leaves, telling Cersei he is taking the Iron Fleet with him so they can wait out the apocalypse. He tells Dany to return to her island as he will his, saying they will be the only ones left alive once winter ends. Euron has very unceremoniously dumped Cersei, who thought she had him wrapped up.

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Cersei, seemingly fine with Euron running away, begins her talks for what she’ll accept as terms for a truce. She only commands Jon snow to return to Winterfell and remain neutral in the beef between herself and Dany. Jon Snow, however, can’t quit Dany and tells Cersei he’s declared for House Targaryen and is bound by honor to stand by her. Dany is moved. Everyone else there wants to face palm so damn hard right now. It was both noble and stupid.

Cersei offended tells them they’re on their own, as the White Walkers will kill the Northerners first then after, having apparently not listened to the presentation, threatens she’ll defeat the remainder after their deaths. All forward momentum immediate stopped and she storms out. Brienne attempts to reason with Jaime to reason with Cersei, though she discovers, like we the audience already know, she’s preaching to the choir. Cersei also stands watching, having heard this, making sure Jaime is still flying right.

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Tyrion wants to call Jon stupid, but in true House Stark fashion Jon believes he must stand by his principals. Otherwise what good is a man’s word? Tyrion, agreeing with its nobility, still points out their peace talks just literally walked out and they’re back to square one with the White Walkers en route now. Tyrion takes it upon himself to redeem the moment and tells the group he will talk to Cersei alone, much to his own peril. Dany objects but Tyrion convinces her its literally their last serious option. Immediately following Tyrion leaves to confront Cersei.
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Escorted by Gregor, Jamie intercepts Tyrion before meeting with Cersei. Both knowing there is no reasoning with Cersei, Jaime joking offers they should say their goodbyes, because in all likelihood this is probably their final meeting as brothers. Knowing what must be done, Jaime steps aside.

Their meeting goes predictably sour, with Cersei refusing to hear anything Tyrion has to say regardless of its validity. Tired of her threats, Tyrion offers to voluntarily succumb to death at her hands. Cersei is plenty tempted to take Tyrion’s offer and allow Gregor to murder him. She restrains herself and allows him to live, moreso in truth knowing Tyrion’s death would push Dany to light up King’s Landing right then and there.

Cersei hears Tyrion out, though I say that loosely, as they discuss what’s in this for both of them. Tyrion confesses he wants Daenerys on the throne, citing she will be a better ruler than Cersei who is widely despised. However in mid-conversation, Tyrion, always perceptive, quickly picks up cues Cersei is with child. Now knowing this, he appeals to Cersei to follow through on the truce for the sake of unborn child’s future so they can at least stop the White Walkers.

Back in the Pit, Jon Snow and Dany have a moment together, this time getting much closer than they have before. It’s clear something is brewing between them now more than ever. This is the power couple fans have both hoped for and now will soon cringe over.

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Interrupting the moment is Tyrion’s return, who came back with Cersei and posse in tow. Against all odds, Tyrion managed to convince Cersei to not only maintain a truce but offer troops to aid in their fight against the White Walkers. Cersei attempting to command the moment, cites she does this without assurance from Dany or Jon they won’t stab her in the back. But of course we know Cersei always has ulterior motives at play. In the end, though, Jon gains another powerful (albeit unlikely) ally against the Night King.

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After this we return to the North where we find Sansa talking to Littlefinger alone, which is always a dangerous thing. Littlefinger feeds Sansa’s frustrations over Jon and Arya, continuing to prod her to conspire against Jon and Arya. For the most part, Sansa goes along with Littlefinger’s conclusions, voicing her own concern over how dangerous she’s become. Like Emperor Palpatine of Star Wars, you can see the joy in Littlefinger’s face when he smugly tries to induce conclusions.

Dany, Jon and company return to Dany’s keep to plan how to proceed now that they have Cersei’s agreement for a truce. They discuss placement of forces, with Jon suggesting he and Dany travel by sail to meet Dothraki forces at Winterfell, in an attempt to race North as quickly as possible. Jorah Mormont intercedes Dany should ride by dragon back, as there are many people in the North who would still happily kill a Targaryen over past wars or for glory. Dany decides to ride with Jon. Below you can see Jorah giving Jon a disapproving dad look.

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As the meeting breaks out Theon asks to speak to Jon privately, asking his forgiveness for the bullshit of his past. Jon, though still rightfully upset with Theon being a shit-head for years, tells Theon it’s not his place to forgive him for all the bullshit he’s done, but he can forgive him for whatever he’s done to him. Theon tearfully tells him of Yara’s plight and how he wishes to save her, to which Jon simply asks, “So then why are you still talking to me?” Theon in this moment realizes while his literal testicles are gone, his metaphorical ones can still be reclaimed.

Immediately after this conversation, Theon confronts the commander of Yara’s rebels (who pulled him out of the sea when he fled Euron’s trap) to order them into a mission to save Yara. The commander dismisses Theon, reminding him he’s basically a pussy. Theon, having found his metaphorical testicles, stands against the commander and allows him to beat him up until he’s too tired to do so. Theon with his newfound courage keeps rising to his feet, until the commander is too tired to fight back. Then Theon beats the shit out of the commander, nearly killing him. All this in front of the remaining rebels. Theon shouts, “If not for me, for Yara!” The crew clearly convinced Theon has balls again. He immediately takes the boats and crew out to sea to find Yara.

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We return to Winterfell where Sansa is preparing a trial for Arya. She is brought before a hall filled with armed soldiers and a smirking Littlefinger leaning behind the crowd, as per the usual. It appears Sansa has Arya on trial…until she drops the motherfucking mic and names LITTLEFINGER THE ACCUSED. OH SHIT.

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I implore you to watch his double take again. Arya’s smirk. All of it. It’s pure gold. Believing he had fooled everyone, Littlefinger is in total shock he’s been called out. Sansa officially tries him for the murder of Lysa Arryn (Catelyn Stark’s sister with the sick kid) having pushed her out the moon door (which is still funny to think about), the conspiracy to murder Jon Arryn (Robert Baratheon’s original hand, and Ned Stark’s mentor), and for originating the conflict between the Starks and Lannisters. Yes, Littlefinger is finally getting his comeuppance. And how did he receive it?

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That’s right, Arya cut is throat. While Littlefinger’s death solves little, it does solidify the Stark household and avenges Ned’s death.

We return to Jaime and Cersei, of whom Jaime is busy attempting to organize the attack North. Cersei scoffs as Jaime’s attempts, calling him stupid for believing she genuinely plans to fight alongside them. She confirms she lied to Dany’s face about helping her, instead having secretly sent for a massive mercenary force funded by the Iron Bank. If all goes to plan, Cersei will fool Dany into believing her main forces have driven north, when in fact she’ll have a fresh army waiting in King’s Landing to attack her from within.

Jaime is rightfully horrified at this extremely bad idea. Even after having seen the living dead in person, she still plots against everyone. Jaime tells Cersei he has made a promise to lend his aid, and his honor demands he make good on his promise. Cersei, obviously not one for promises to anyone other than her, is pissed.

She is convinced the dragons can be defeated, as she noticed Dany only arrived with two, and that they can wait out the coming apocalypse from the safety of King’s Landing. Maddened by her absolute stubbornness, Jaime refuses to follow Cersei and opposes her, even as she threatens to have Gregor murder him. Knowing Cersei wouldn’t kill him, he defiantly leaves to prepare for their advancement north. With that, Cersei lost the last person standing by her side (aside from Gregor, because that’s literally all he does). At the same time, as Jaime leaves, snow begins to fall on King’s Landing for the first time in countless years. WINTER HAS COME.

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But wait, we aren’t done yet. Because tonight’s episode included 30 extra minutes, we got more! Next we follow-up with Samwell Tarly who is just arriving in Winterfell (at a good time too). He arrives to speak to Bran and give him tremendous information. Bran already assumes he knows what information Tarly brings, which involves Jon Snow’s true parentage. Bran believes he knows Jon isn’t a Snow but a Sand, child Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark born in Dorne, making him a Sand not a Snow (sorting out the proper surnames of bastards based on where they were born).

Samwell Tarly can’t believe he knows shit psychic Bran doesn’t. Neither does Bran, as Samwell reveals what his ladyfriend, Gilly, discovered some episodes back: Rhaegar Targaryen is the true husband of Lyanna Stark, of which they wed in secret. This throws the entire politics and world of Game of Thrones into a fucking tizzy. Bran quickly realizes this makes Robert’s Rebellion built on a total lie, to which the allegations were Rhaegar kidnapped and raped Lyanna. Instead this would make Jon Aegon Targaryen, Dany’s nephew.

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Of course we make this realization as we watch Dany and Jon start fucking. Where one family power-couple breaks, another is formed. Fun.

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Moving on, we rejoin Sansa and Arya as they process Littlefinger’s demise. Arya confessed she knows her role and she never would’ve been Lady of Winterfell, nor did she truly want to. She concedes Sansa personal power as a woman who endured the torment she experienced, saying she didn’t know if she’d have the strength to survive Sansa’s ordeals. They both lament the death of the father, bonding together and solidifying House Stark. The Starks have truly taken back the North.

Finally, we rejoin the Brotherhood and the wildlings as they survey Eastmarch for the impending walker army. Dondarrion and Tormund watch in horror as the army nonchalantly marches upon Eastwatch. In no time at all, the White Walkers make their full presence known. At first with a few men, then the entirety of the army. Of course, that’s the not the worst of it. As you may remember, last week Dany lost a dragon to which now the Night King rides upon. And with his new ice dragon, the Night King fells The Wall. For the first time in Westeros history, the Wall has fallen and so now comes the Long Night.

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End of episode. Welcome to the end.

I feel legit empty inside right now. I…I think I need to go lie down.

 

Game of Thrones Station: The Queen’s Justice

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As per the usual there’s a lot to unpack, especially tonight, so let’s just dive right into this filthy beast. This one is going to be a long one, grab a drink.

Tonight’s episode opened once again on Dragonstone, as Jon Snow touches down on its shores with Davos alongside. Awaiting is a troop of Dothraki with Tyrion and diplomat Missandei in tow. The uneasy greeting is made easier once Jon and Tyrion pick up conversation, however quickly become uneasy again once the Dothraki take Jon’s boat and weapons (provided voluntarily).

Varys sees Melisandre hiding among the cliffs watching Jon Snow arrive. Without a second’s hesitation, he begins prodding at her intentions. If it was so important for Jon Snow to meet Daenerys, then why wouldn’t she be present during his arrival? She confesses bad history with both Jon and Davos, and that her presence would cause more problems. Varys warns Melisandre she should leave and never return, however she makes a veiled threat both her and Varys are destined to die in Westeros. Varys is rightfully troubled by the shit she’s saying.

Jon and Daenerys finally meet face to face, though it would be a mostly awkward experience for Snow. While Missandei lists Daenerys many titles, Jon and Davos are awestruck as what to do. Awkwardly, Jon looks to Davos to say something. Davos can only utter out, “This is Jon Snow. He’s King in the North.”

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Daenerys immediately questions Jon’s claim as king, saying he’s only a lord until he bends the knee to his true queen. She cites ancient agreement to which the Starks owe loyalty to House Targaryen. Jon Snow refuses to bend the knee, but instead pleads there isn’t time to debate. The Night King is on the march and there will be no world to rule if the Night King wins.

Daenerys stands firm, feeling disrespected by the albeit too blunt Jon Snow. She refuses to give him assistance until he bends the knee, and Snow refuses. Davos attempts to plead to Tyrion the seriousness of the situation and how much Jon has personally sacrificed to fight the threat, including taking a knife to the heart. This particularly catches Daenerys attention, though Jon side eyes Davos to stop talking further on it.

The meeting concludes poorly, with both sides clearly standing firm on their beliefs. She warns that if Jon refuses to bend the knee and continues to be called King in the North, she considers it an open act of rebellion against her. Jon immediately finds himself in a dangerous situation, trapped within Dragonstone’s halls. In the nick of time, Varys arrives with grave news. This shakes Daenerys to where she immediately concludes the meeting, saying he is a guest of the island for the time being, though Jon knows he cannot leave. He asks if he is a prisoner, to which she replies, “Not yet.”

Varys informs Daenerys of Ellaria Sands’ and Yara’s capture and the destruction of her fleets. She asks if all of them have been captured, to which we cut to Theon being fished out of the sea by a loyalist ship. The sight of Theon upsets the men, asking him what has happened. Theon tells them Yara is dead and that he tried to save her. The lead soldier is disgusted, replies why is he still alive if he tried? Theon can only look down defeated because Theon is this program’s Jerry (little reference for ya).

Meanwhile, Euron Greyjoy parades Ellaria, her daughter and Yara through the streets of King’s Landing. The crowd is cheering his successful campaign and he can’t help himself but bear a shit-eating grin, mocking Yara of Theon’s cowardice. He marches them into Cersei’s throne room, where Ellaria is thrown to her knees before Cersei and The Mountain. Euron gloats of his capture, pushing further his desire to wed Cersei. She says he will have what he wants, once the war has been won. Jaime is obvious upset by this.

Euron takes the time to mock Jaime in front of cheering crowds to his ear, poking how he is going to have Cersei. He prods far enough to where Jaime wants to outburst but silences him, reminding him of where they are. Euron leaves smiling with Yara in tow. Ellaria and her daughter are thrown into a dungeon to await their fate.

Which didn’t take long, because the next scene is Cersei playing with Ellaria like a cat playing with a dead bird. Cersei is saving every second of this scene, pondering out loud the many ways she’s dreamed of killing her. Instead, she opts for the most sadistic option she could think of: kissing her daughter with the same poison used by Ellaria on Cersei’s daughter. She realizes mid-kiss what she’s done and squirms in her chains. Her smarmy number two, Qyburn, gives her the antidote to the poison, sealing Ellaria’s worst fears as to what’s happened. Cersei tells Ellaria she is going to ensure she stays alive to watch her daughter die her slow horrible death. She walks out very satisfied.

This gets Cersei extremely riled up, because in the very next scene she is banging the shit out of Jaime, who initially wasn’t having it after being upset over Euron, but she very quickly changes his mind. She also makes their affair public again by allowing a chambermaid to outright see them together. Jaime chuckles, but seems conflicted by this.

She receives news she has been visited by a representative of the Iron Bankers, the same organization that bankrolled Tywin Lannister’s wars. He has come to collect on Tywin’s debt though he offers something else. He offers to fund Cersei’s war against her enemies. Knowing there’s no alternatives, she asserts their investment in her will be well placed. She now has the gold required to fund her war against pretty much everyone.

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We return to Dragonstone, where Tyrion and Jon talk privately. Jon is frustrated over the day’s events, however Tyrion isn’t willing to let this potential partnership fall apart just yet. He convinces Jon to make a more reasonable request, since “Give me an army to fight zombies you’ve never seen before, I swear it’s true” doesn’t quite ring with much confidence. Jon heeds his advice and instead asks for just the dragonglass.

Tyrion next approaches Daenerys to make the arrangement solid, and convince Daenerys that an alliance with Jon Snow would be valuable. Daenerys is still puzzled by Davos’ comment on Jon taking a dagger to the heart comment, though Tyrion brushes it aside as Northern imagination. She appears unconvinced. Jon and Daenerys meet privately, and this engagement goes more fruitfully. Daenerys is convinced of Jon’s intentions and agrees to allow him to mine the glass. Jon asks if she believes him about the Night King, to which she replies “You’d better get to work Jon Snow.”

The next scene returns to Sansa at Winterfell, where she is acting lord of the keep in Jon’s absence. Littlefinger walks amongst her inner circle helping her manage the day to day operations of the keep. Littlefinger comments how command suits Sansa, though she quickly replies to any of his comments with barbed quips, and probably rightfully so. Except today Littlefinger drops knowledge on Sansa, telling her his secret to strategy. How he fights every battle against everyone, be it friend or foe, in his head. And that is how Sansa will keep alive, that she will need to outwit her opponents at all times. Sansa is at a loss for words at the advice.

However the moment is interrupted by the arrival of Bran to Winterfell. It is the first meeting of Sansa and Bran since season one. Sansa is moved to tears while Bran is emotionless. Sansa reminds Bran he is the last living heir to Ned, meaning he is now the keep’s true lord. Bran refuses, saying he cannot as he must be the three eyed-raven. Something he cannot explain to Sansa, except by giving her descriptions of her wedding night he never saw. This severely bothered Sansa, who leaves their reunion early, quietly in tears.

The next scene follows up Samwell’s attempts to cure Jorah Mormont via surgery. He manages to successfuly peel every bit of greyscale off with precision, curing Jorah of the affliction. He is freed from the Citadel, where he says he will return to Daenerys. The two shake hands and part ways. Following, Samwell is slightly chewed out by his superior but was given a commendation for doing a damn fine job. However he is also then punished for his recklessness.

Daenerys humors the idea of flying in by herself with her three dragons and exacting immediate revenge against Euron and his fleet. They are also awaiting news from their campaign against Casterly Rock, which the Unsullied are currently en route to invade. Grey Worm heads the attack, managing to sneak into the island and mount an offense despite suffering losses. Tyrion knew a secret entrance to the keep which would allow for a sneak attack, which succeeded.

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However Grey Worm realizes at the conclusion of the invasion that keep fell too easily. In that moment he reailizes it was a trap, and the Unsullied are now surrounded by fleets of Euron’s navy, trapping them on the island. Grey Worm realizes this all too late, and can only watch his ships burn from Casterly Rock. The bulk of the Lannister force was sent to invade the Tyrell’s lands (with a familiar face, it’s Bronn) to kill Olenna Tyrell. Her keep is taken effortlessly and she is confronted by Jaime.

Jaime has words with Olenna, of whom warns he is blind to Cersei’s madness. Jaime confesses he truly does love her and won’t betray her. He says he’s convinced Cersei not to execute her barbarically but instead offers her a different choice: to voluntarily poison herself. Without hesitation, Olenna drinks the poison and tells Jaime how saddened she was to see Joffery die viciously. In that moment she reveals to Jaime it was Olenna who killed Joffery, and let Cersei think Tyrion did it. Olenna, smiling, tells Jaime to send a message to Cersei: “Tell her I did it.” Like that, Olenna went out like a G. Jaime is horrified and quickly leaves probably to tell Cersei.

Drop.the.fucking.mic.

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Game of Thrones Station Episode 2, Stormborn

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Man there’s a lot to unpack here from last night’s episode, so let’s take this bit by bit.

The episode opens on a stormy night on Dragonstone Isle with Daenerys and crew. Tyrion begins a plot to invade Westeros, though Daenerys isn’t totally comfortable with everyone in her council. She questions Varys and his loyalties, and understandably so given his position, though he makes his intentions clear when he says he serves the people and not the various royalties he has had to serve, a similar speech he once had with Tyrion some seasons back. Daenerys proves to her council she’s watching her ass.

They are unexpectedly met by the red priestess Melisandre, who brings a similar pitch she’s attempted in the past: that the Lord of Light has prophesied someone will save them from the Long Night. However she is met with suspicion and mistrust from both Varys and Daenerys. This time she comes with a suggestion: to contact Jon Snow, newly minted King of the North.

Melisandre and Tyrion both suggest Jon’s knowledge of the White Walkers and his position against Cersei make him a valuable ally. Daenerys agrees but under the condition Jon Snow would bend the knee to her upon their meeting. Tyrion is visible concerned but knows this is the only way.

We immediately follow up to Jon receiving Tyrion’s message. Jon and Sansa discuss the validity of the message, and though they both testify to Tyrion’s character, they are concerned yet another throne chaser may be leading them into serious trouble. Davos agrees with their concerns but reminds them dragons make very powerful allies, especially against the White Walkers.

Cersei prepares her own defense against Daenerys’ incoming invasion and Olenna Tyrell’s rebellion against the crown. Cersei finds herself in a precarious situation as fewer houses support her than her father, since so many of them are dead at this point. Jaime attempts to shore up trusted allies to assemble an army for Cersei, but finds few willing to betray allegiances for Cersei, not to mention many of the lords fearful of the dragons. Cersei’s right hand, ever the schemer, quietly has been developing massive ballistas to shoot down the dragons.

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We rejoin Samwell who, with assistance, is attempting to treat Jorah Mormont and his greyscale affliction. The disease has spread quickly throughout his entire body and the senior maester is content to leave Jorah for dead, offering Jorah the option of killing himself or being shipped out to a diseased colony. Samwell, ever the optimist, believes he may have found a solution in his studies. As per the usual, no one listens to him so he takes it upon himself to treat Jorah personally, risking his life in the process. The procedure proves less than pleasant for Jorah.

 

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We return to Daenerys and Tyrion who are with the full council at Dragonstone. There is infighting as Ellaria Sand still harbors a grudge against Tyrion for Oberyn’s death back in 2014. Tyrion wishes to use the Dornish and Tyrell houses to build a rebellion against King’s Landing while Daenerys enters amidst the fighting. Olenna also attempts to privately counsel Daenerys to follow her own instinct and openly attack King’s Landing, not blindly follow Tyrion’s suggestions to attack subtly.

We run into the ever precocious Arya who has met again with Hot Pie at his inn. He notes how much she’s changed, then she realizes how much she’s changed and it bums her out. Hot Pie reveals Jon Snow is king, which causes Arya to leave in a rush to rejoin him. En route, she is trapped by a pack of dire wolves, whose alpha just so happens to be the baby dire wolf Arya was forced to abandon some years back. They recognize each other, but being the alpha he isn’t interested in joining Arya. We are all left sad.

We rejoin Jon Snow again who is discussing his plans for meeting with Daenerys, which is met with mixed reaction. He reminds them all of their dire need for dragonglass, of which he learned thanks to Samwell is sitting right under Dragonstone Isle. Sansa is not pleased Jon is going to meet her, surprises her by charging her as regent until his return. Baelish attempts to counsel with Jon, who them promptly attempts to choke him for saying he loves Sansa. Jon threatens to outright kill him if he discovers him attempting to touch her. Baelish is finding himself with fewer and fewer allies, though his presence still needed thanks to the forces he has at his disposal.

The episode concludes in a huge way, as we join the Greyjoys as they ferry Ellaria to Dorne to prepare for their attack. However they are met with terrible misfortune as Euron intercepts her ships at night and forces her into a dire sea battle. In the midst of the battle, Obara and Nymeria Sand are killed, while Ellaria and Tyene Sand are taken prisoner by Euron’s troops. Yara is captured by Euron and Theon flees like a pussy once confronted by Euron with a knife to Yara’s throat. Her fate now is in Euron’s fucked up hands.

Also things that happened:

  • Grey Worm and Missandei get it on. Yes, you read that right. It was pretty hot.

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It’s Back! Game of Thrones is back!

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I normally avoid spoilers as best I can but I’m going to go ahead and warn SPOILERS AHEAD IT’S ALL SPOILERS

Winter is finally upon us, but with this being the season opener let’s not get too crazy here. When we last left the program, there have been seismic shifts in power throughout the world. Cersei has claimed the Iron Throne following Tommen’s suicide following Cersei’s revenge bombing which claimed Margaery’s life; Jon Snow and Sansa have managed to defeat Ramsay Bolton and are organizing remaining loyalists in a desperate stand against the impending White Walker army; Arya cut Walder Frey’s throat as she makes her way toward King’s Landing and Cersei; and Daenerys is en route to Westeros with a navy thanks to her alliance with Theon and Yara Greyjoy, who are also being hunted by their murderous uncle Euron, who himself is attempting to court Cersei into wedlock. And this is just covering the major characters.

Sunday’s episode began with…Walder Frey? Who is toasting with his vassals to the deaths of their enemies, namely the Starks. However, with this being Game of Thrones, of course the wine is probably poisoned. Granted, the fact it’s poisoned isn’t the surprise so much as that wasn’t really Walder it WAS ARYA EXACTING REVENGEOHGODYES! Arya takes a quick break from murdering to make a detour to hang out with Ed Sheeran and his band of young Lannister soldiers gathered around a bonfire. This cameo has set the Internet either into a swoon or a rage as most issues tend to go.

Next, we see Jon Snow who is still congregating with loyalists to figure out how to defend themselves against the impending White Walker invasion, who if you’ve also forgotten now count giants amongst the ranks. Jon knows their only hope is locating large caches of dragonglass though they don’t know where to begin. Beyond that Jon finds the houses fall in line quickly, though Sansa has grown frustrated with Jon’s unwillingness to heed her counsel.

Sansa is also still forced to deal with the increasingly creepy Lord Baelish who too is quickly running out of allies and may soon find himself in serious shit. We are also left wondering if Brienne will ever fall for the lumberjack wiles of a very thirsty Tormund. We briefly catch up with Samwell afterward still at the Citadel, toiling as a shitty apprentice maester doing literal shitty work. Knowing time is against him, Samwell dangerously attempts to learn forbidden knowledge, which has fortuitously shown him the location to a ton of dragonglass conveniently located beneath Dragonstone Island.

Against most odds, Sandor is still kicking and still hanging around his strange frenemies in the Brotherhood Without Banners. While always the cynic and asshole, Sandor is forced to confront that their visions in the fires are real, and the truth he too is seeing the impending doom the White Walkers will bring.

The episode concludes with a triumphant scene of Daenerys and crew landing on, wouldn’t you know it, Dragonstone Island, her ancestral home. Dragonstone, if you’ve already forgotten, was the former base of operations for Stannis Baratheon and is also the locations of the dragonglass Samwell discovered that Jon Snow needs. The episode concludes with Daenerys standing beside an absolutely bewildered Tyrion and a giant map of Westeros saying, “Shall we begin?” Yes Daenerys, oh god yes let us begin.

There aren’t going to be as many episodes in season seven , with only six remaining leading to an 81-minute long season finale August 28th (versus the usual 10 episode runs), then you can be left to your empty-inside wait for the grand finale next year. Then…well we won’t even think about after that.