We’re way behind with our Game of Thrones station threads and I’ve done my damnedest to avoid spoilers along the way thanks to those douchebags who leaked all final episodes. I’ve also spiced up this week’s GoT entry, so hopefully you enjoy the improved format. Anyway…
It’s all been laid bare and here we are, all roads inevitably lead to the same ending: the arrival of the Long Night. Before I can even begin to tackle where season 7 has taken us, first have to unpack what episode 7 has: the meeting of powerhouse characters long waited for. In between are some very deep revelations that will really fuck things up, as you’ll come to see.
The episode opened with Grey Worm in good health at the head of the Unsullied army alongside the Dothraki as Daenerys shows force to Cersei their meeting. Bronn and Jamie gaze in wonder at the massive army of Unsullied and Dothraki outside the castle walls, a last bit of calm they’ll receive. Jon gazes in wonder and disgust at King’s Landing, Tyrion being Tyrion quipping the brothels are superior to anywhere in the North.
Cersei, Jaime and Qyburn gather to listen to Cersei plot the possibility of Gregor murdering Daenerys and company when the opportunity arises. Neither Jaime nor Qyburn look particularly thrilled to hear this.
Bronn intercepts Tyrion and Jon’s company with his own. Sandor Clegane catches gaze of Briennne of Tarth, who can’t believe this fucking guy is still alive. Tyrion reunites with Podrick, all grown up, and of course Bronn delivering this gem at the insistence they save their hellos:
Sandor catches up to Brienne, who is slightly worried he’s looking for vengeance. Instead they talk about their mutual interest in protecting Arya Stark, with Sandor seemingly genuinely content the girl was still alive and in Winterfell. Even if she left him dying choking on his own blood he still holds a soft spot for her. The two seem to have come to peace with each other through Arya’s safety and Sandor sorta completes his turn as a hero after years of scumbaggery.
After everyone gets out their feelings, we are immediately brought to the stark seriousness of the situation. Jaime and Brienne pass a fleeting glance at each other (if you have forgotten their adventures in season one). However it is immediately the reunion of Sandor and Gregor that stands out. If Sandor was feeling alright a minute ago, his attitude immediately sours upon sight of Gregor. We have a teaser for a fight between Sandor and Gregor. Sandor is indifferent to what has befallen Gregor, reminding him he is still intent on killing him regardless. It’s unknown if Gregor even thinks for himself anymore but when he was normal, this was about the same standard.
Daenerys is late to the meeting much to Cersei’s extreme chagrin. Not only that but Cersei catches Brienne and Jaime staring at each other a little too knowingly. Jaime realizes what he’s doing and tries super hard to shrink. The moment is broken by Dany showing up by dragon-back, with Cersei maintaining a hard poker face at the theatrics. Immediately their first meeting is off to a rocky start with Dany deliberately keeping Cersei waiting knowing it would piss her off.
Tyrion attempts to open the meeting but Euron starts by taunting Theon and Tyrion. Jon, frustrated, cuts in and gets the point: fuck their beef, there are White Walkers on the way right now. Cersei naturally doesn’t take this threat seriously. They begin to argue but Tyrion knows seeing is believing. The fruits of “Beyond the Wall” are shown when Sandor drags a crate with the captured White Walker within it. Tension builds when Sandor opens the crate and the walker doesn’t move. Everyone is held breathless, some in disbelief anything is happening, until Sandor kicks the crate over and the White Walker springs to life scaring the shit out of everyone.
Sandor puts on a demonstration showing not evening cutting it with steel will stop it. He chops it in half and cuts off its hand, with Qyburn immediately showing interest in the severed hand. Cersei is mortified throughout the whole experience, for only the second time in the program she is unable to smug her way out of this. Jon shows her they can be defeated by fire and dragonglass though no one seems particularly relieved. Dany reveals there are easily over a 100,000 walkers en route.
Euron asks if they can cross water. Once he hears the answer no, Euron immediately turns tail and leaves, telling Cersei he is taking the Iron Fleet with him so they can wait out the apocalypse. He tells Dany to return to her island as he will his, saying they will be the only ones left alive once winter ends. Euron has very unceremoniously dumped Cersei, who thought she had him wrapped up.
Cersei, seemingly fine with Euron running away, begins her talks for what she’ll accept as terms for a truce. She only commands Jon snow to return to Winterfell and remain neutral in the beef between herself and Dany. Jon Snow, however, can’t quit Dany and tells Cersei he’s declared for House Targaryen and is bound by honor to stand by her. Dany is moved. Everyone else there wants to face palm so damn hard right now. It was both noble and stupid.
Cersei offended tells them they’re on their own, as the White Walkers will kill the Northerners first then after, having apparently not listened to the presentation, threatens she’ll defeat the remainder after their deaths. All forward momentum immediate stopped and she storms out. Brienne attempts to reason with Jaime to reason with Cersei, though she discovers, like we the audience already know, she’s preaching to the choir. Cersei also stands watching, having heard this, making sure Jaime is still flying right.
Tyrion wants to call Jon stupid, but in true House Stark fashion Jon believes he must stand by his principals. Otherwise what good is a man’s word? Tyrion, agreeing with its nobility, still points out their peace talks just literally walked out and they’re back to square one with the White Walkers en route now. Tyrion takes it upon himself to redeem the moment and tells the group he will talk to Cersei alone, much to his own peril. Dany objects but Tyrion convinces her its literally their last serious option. Immediately following Tyrion leaves to confront Cersei.
Escorted by Gregor, Jamie intercepts Tyrion before meeting with Cersei. Both knowing there is no reasoning with Cersei, Jaime joking offers they should say their goodbyes, because in all likelihood this is probably their final meeting as brothers. Knowing what must be done, Jaime steps aside.
Their meeting goes predictably sour, with Cersei refusing to hear anything Tyrion has to say regardless of its validity. Tired of her threats, Tyrion offers to voluntarily succumb to death at her hands. Cersei is plenty tempted to take Tyrion’s offer and allow Gregor to murder him. She restrains herself and allows him to live, moreso in truth knowing Tyrion’s death would push Dany to light up King’s Landing right then and there.
Cersei hears Tyrion out, though I say that loosely, as they discuss what’s in this for both of them. Tyrion confesses he wants Daenerys on the throne, citing she will be a better ruler than Cersei who is widely despised. However in mid-conversation, Tyrion, always perceptive, quickly picks up cues Cersei is with child. Now knowing this, he appeals to Cersei to follow through on the truce for the sake of unborn child’s future so they can at least stop the White Walkers.
Back in the Pit, Jon Snow and Dany have a moment together, this time getting much closer than they have before. It’s clear something is brewing between them now more than ever. This is the power couple fans have both hoped for and now will soon cringe over.
Interrupting the moment is Tyrion’s return, who came back with Cersei and posse in tow. Against all odds, Tyrion managed to convince Cersei to not only maintain a truce but offer troops to aid in their fight against the White Walkers. Cersei attempting to command the moment, cites she does this without assurance from Dany or Jon they won’t stab her in the back. But of course we know Cersei always has ulterior motives at play. In the end, though, Jon gains another powerful (albeit unlikely) ally against the Night King.
After this we return to the North where we find Sansa talking to Littlefinger alone, which is always a dangerous thing. Littlefinger feeds Sansa’s frustrations over Jon and Arya, continuing to prod her to conspire against Jon and Arya. For the most part, Sansa goes along with Littlefinger’s conclusions, voicing her own concern over how dangerous she’s become. Like Emperor Palpatine of Star Wars, you can see the joy in Littlefinger’s face when he smugly tries to induce conclusions.
Dany, Jon and company return to Dany’s keep to plan how to proceed now that they have Cersei’s agreement for a truce. They discuss placement of forces, with Jon suggesting he and Dany travel by sail to meet Dothraki forces at Winterfell, in an attempt to race North as quickly as possible. Jorah Mormont intercedes Dany should ride by dragon back, as there are many people in the North who would still happily kill a Targaryen over past wars or for glory. Dany decides to ride with Jon. Below you can see Jorah giving Jon a disapproving dad look.
As the meeting breaks out Theon asks to speak to Jon privately, asking his forgiveness for the bullshit of his past. Jon, though still rightfully upset with Theon being a shit-head for years, tells Theon it’s not his place to forgive him for all the bullshit he’s done, but he can forgive him for whatever he’s done to him. Theon tearfully tells him of Yara’s plight and how he wishes to save her, to which Jon simply asks, “So then why are you still talking to me?” Theon in this moment realizes while his literal testicles are gone, his metaphorical ones can still be reclaimed.
Immediately after this conversation, Theon confronts the commander of Yara’s rebels (who pulled him out of the sea when he fled Euron’s trap) to order them into a mission to save Yara. The commander dismisses Theon, reminding him he’s basically a pussy. Theon, having found his metaphorical testicles, stands against the commander and allows him to beat him up until he’s too tired to do so. Theon with his newfound courage keeps rising to his feet, until the commander is too tired to fight back. Then Theon beats the shit out of the commander, nearly killing him. All this in front of the remaining rebels. Theon shouts, “If not for me, for Yara!” The crew clearly convinced Theon has balls again. He immediately takes the boats and crew out to sea to find Yara.
We return to Winterfell where Sansa is preparing a trial for Arya. She is brought before a hall filled with armed soldiers and a smirking Littlefinger leaning behind the crowd, as per the usual. It appears Sansa has Arya on trial…until she drops the motherfucking mic and names LITTLEFINGER THE ACCUSED. OH SHIT.
I implore you to watch his double take again. Arya’s smirk. All of it. It’s pure gold. Believing he had fooled everyone, Littlefinger is in total shock he’s been called out. Sansa officially tries him for the murder of Lysa Arryn (Catelyn Stark’s sister with the sick kid) having pushed her out the moon door (which is still funny to think about), the conspiracy to murder Jon Arryn (Robert Baratheon’s original hand, and Ned Stark’s mentor), and for originating the conflict between the Starks and Lannisters. Yes, Littlefinger is finally getting his comeuppance. And how did he receive it?
That’s right, Arya cut is throat. While Littlefinger’s death solves little, it does solidify the Stark household and avenges Ned’s death.
We return to Jaime and Cersei, of whom Jaime is busy attempting to organize the attack North. Cersei scoffs as Jaime’s attempts, calling him stupid for believing she genuinely plans to fight alongside them. She confirms she lied to Dany’s face about helping her, instead having secretly sent for a massive mercenary force funded by the Iron Bank. If all goes to plan, Cersei will fool Dany into believing her main forces have driven north, when in fact she’ll have a fresh army waiting in King’s Landing to attack her from within.
Jaime is rightfully horrified at this extremely bad idea. Even after having seen the living dead in person, she still plots against everyone. Jaime tells Cersei he has made a promise to lend his aid, and his honor demands he make good on his promise. Cersei, obviously not one for promises to anyone other than her, is pissed.
She is convinced the dragons can be defeated, as she noticed Dany only arrived with two, and that they can wait out the coming apocalypse from the safety of King’s Landing. Maddened by her absolute stubbornness, Jaime refuses to follow Cersei and opposes her, even as she threatens to have Gregor murder him. Knowing Cersei wouldn’t kill him, he defiantly leaves to prepare for their advancement north. With that, Cersei lost the last person standing by her side (aside from Gregor, because that’s literally all he does). At the same time, as Jaime leaves, snow begins to fall on King’s Landing for the first time in countless years. WINTER HAS COME.
But wait, we aren’t done yet. Because tonight’s episode included 30 extra minutes, we got more! Next we follow-up with Samwell Tarly who is just arriving in Winterfell (at a good time too). He arrives to speak to Bran and give him tremendous information. Bran already assumes he knows what information Tarly brings, which involves Jon Snow’s true parentage. Bran believes he knows Jon isn’t a Snow but a Sand, child Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark born in Dorne, making him a Sand not a Snow (sorting out the proper surnames of bastards based on where they were born).
Samwell Tarly can’t believe he knows shit psychic Bran doesn’t. Neither does Bran, as Samwell reveals what his ladyfriend, Gilly, discovered some episodes back: Rhaegar Targaryen is the true husband of Lyanna Stark, of which they wed in secret. This throws the entire politics and world of Game of Thrones into a fucking tizzy. Bran quickly realizes this makes Robert’s Rebellion built on a total lie, to which the allegations were Rhaegar kidnapped and raped Lyanna. Instead this would make Jon Aegon Targaryen, Dany’s nephew.
Of course we make this realization as we watch Dany and Jon start fucking. Where one family power-couple breaks, another is formed. Fun.
Moving on, we rejoin Sansa and Arya as they process Littlefinger’s demise. Arya confessed she knows her role and she never would’ve been Lady of Winterfell, nor did she truly want to. She concedes Sansa personal power as a woman who endured the torment she experienced, saying she didn’t know if she’d have the strength to survive Sansa’s ordeals. They both lament the death of the father, bonding together and solidifying House Stark. The Starks have truly taken back the North.
Finally, we rejoin the Brotherhood and the wildlings as they survey Eastmarch for the impending walker army. Dondarrion and Tormund watch in horror as the army nonchalantly marches upon Eastwatch. In no time at all, the White Walkers make their full presence known. At first with a few men, then the entirety of the army. Of course, that’s the not the worst of it. As you may remember, last week Dany lost a dragon to which now the Night King rides upon. And with his new ice dragon, the Night King fells The Wall. For the first time in Westeros history, the Wall has fallen and so now comes the Long Night.
End of episode. Welcome to the end.
I feel legit empty inside right now. I…I think I need to go lie down.